joggingdead:

when you have a talent youre really proud of and then someone comes and does it better than you

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  • *hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
  • *gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
  • *heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
  • *a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
  • *taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
  • *gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents
  • *tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me
  • *period is late*: crap i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary
  • *laptop shuts suddenly down*: well fuck it's broken forever bye everything bye money

the-adequate-gatsby:

I don’t mean to be annoying I just admire you a lot please like me

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posted 20 hours ago via cpines · © durrans with 10,156 notes

mensrightsactivist:

(reads ur text post) (looks directly at the camera like im on the office)


toidarian:

i’m starting to reach that point of scifi inebriation again where the thought that i’m actually confined to a single planet is really weird to me


  • Three year-old me: oh my god dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.
  • Me now: oh my god dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.

iwishihadafather:

*picks up cat* *makes cat dance* *puts cat back down*



hypnoskid: ??????

hypnoskid:

??????


teppelin:

have you ever had a game you wanted to replay but then there’s just one part that you fcking HATE and it’s just not worth it


  • me in my head: i'm going to get my life together and read classic novels and drink green tea and eat really healthy and wear cute outfits and make interesting artwork and spend lots of time outside. i'm going to start biking everywhere and walking and listening to lots of new indie bands that i've always wanted to listen to and take bubble baths and my life is just going to be amazing.
  • me in reality: well. today i think i'm going to watch netflix in my pjs and eat ice cream. and if i'm feeling really productive i might shower.